You Sold Me Out To Save Yourself
by CherryJuicyXo
Summary: Rick had an affair with Emily, leading her to believe he and Lori were ending their marriage. When Lori finds out, Rick comes clean with Emily, leaving her heartbroken. When Rick is shot, and the dead rise, both women are forced to survive together. When Rick returns, Emily finds comfort in Shane. Read/Review, please. SHANE/OC (:
1. Chapter 1

_I started writing this story a long, long time ago. I lost all of my account information, so I haven't been able to update any chapters. I'm going to rewrite it on this account, and hopefully not forget my account information! Please read and review, let me know what you think, or if I can do any better! I'll be writing most of this story on an iPhone, so please excuse any grammar errors, or misspelling. Thank you and I hope you enjoy!_

* * *

_What have I done?.._

I sat at the table set for two and waited. _What a beautiful place, _I thought. The lights were dim, there were fresh flowers and candles on every table. The music was slow, and romantic. _Perfect. _I've dated a few men in my life, but not one of them made me feel as special as Rick has. He always made me feel like a brick of gold.

I looked at my watch, _6:05. _I shook my head. _He's late, _I thought. Five minutes isn't late enough to get me angry, but Rick's usually never late. I bit my lip, and pulled out my phone. _Everything okay? _I texted. Before I could set my phone on the table it vibrated. _Pulling in now, sry.__  
_

I looked out the window and watched as he got out of his car. I let out a sigh. Rick and I have been saying for a little more than eight months, but I still got butterflies in my stomach that, honestly, made me feel half sick, before we spent time together.

I gave him a slight wave as he walked to the table, he returned me with a half smile. Something wasn't right. I could tell something was off with him. He looks shaken, and frustrated. "Sorry I'm late," he said, sitting at the table and looking at the menu. _No kiss? Nothing? _I thought. "Can I get you something to drink, sir?" The waitress asked. "Just water," he replied, not looking up from the menu.

I cleared my throat, "something the matter?" I asked. He slapped the menu on the table, and rubbed his eyebrows with his thumb and pointer finger, still not looking at me. "Rick?" I pulled his arm from his face. "What's wrong with you?" He let out a loud sigh, "Lori," he muttered.

_Lori? _I was confused. I knew Lori had given him problems before, but never to the point where he would act like this. "What about her?" I asked, taking a sip of wine. He shook his head, "she looked through my phone," he said. "Found all the texts, the pictures, voicemails." His voice was trailing off, he pulled his chair into the table. "She screamed at me. Asked how I could do this to her- told me I didn't care about ER or our son." I looked at him confused. "Why would she say all those things?"

Rick and I met two years ago when I got a job as a dispatcher at the police station he worked at. We were friendly, but never got into anything serious until our company's Christmas party. He'd told me that he and Lori decided to end their marriage, and that the only reason they had stayed together as long as they did, was for their son, but neither of them could handle the pressure and stress that they put on each other, and that they both made a mutual decision to file for divorce.

He didn't say anything, he just looked at me. I could feel anxiety building in my heart. "Rick?" I whispered, grabbing his hand, forcing him to look at me. "Why would she say all those things?" Again, he said nothing. I could tell by the look in his eyes that whatever he wasn't telling me was bad. "Can you just fucking say _anything?_" I begged.

Nothing.

I bit my lip. "Is she saying all of these things because you're _not separate?" _He looked at me with sorrow in his eyes, and at that moment he didn't have to say anything- I already knew.

The reason his _wife _was so upset when she saw my pictures, my texts on his phone is because they weren't separated. _How could I be so stupid? _I never questioned Rick honesty. From day one, I always looked at him as an honest, outstanding man.

I squeezed his hand, and pushed it away. "Say it," I said. "Tell me the truth. Tell me why she's pissed off at you." He sighed, and I could feel my stomach knotting. "We're not separated," he blurted. I could feel my hands start to shake, I looked down at my lap, trying to hold back my tears. "I'm- going to leave," I managed. "Em, please wait," he grabbed my arm, and I quickly pulled it from him, grabbing my purse. "Have a good night."

I slung my purse over my shoulder and walked away. My mind was racing, I felt like I was walking on air. _Why is this happening? God damn it Emily. How could you be so fucking stupid. He used you. For what? Why? _

I stopped walking. My mouth went dry, my mind went blank. Without thinking I paced back to the table. "You know something?" I shouted, causing everyone to look at me. "You're a piece of shit." Rick looked around the room, all eyes were on us. I didn't care. "Please, Emily, calm down," he pleaded, standing to me, gesturing me to be quiet. "Get your fucking hand out of my face," I snarled, swatting his hand away. "Do you even fathom what you've done? How much of _my _time I've wasted on _you?" _

"Emily, please. Let's go talk outside."

"What is there to talk about?" My voice was getting louder. "What? How you took advantage of me? How you lied?"

"Miss, we're going to need for you to keep it down or leave, please," the hostess said, tapping my shoulder.

"I- I hate you," I growled. "You're a selfish, no good scumbag." I picked up my glass of wine and took a sip before splashing the rest in Rick's face. "Explain that one to your _wife," _I spat, giving him one last look of sheer pain before walking away.

The restaurant was completely silent as I walked to the door. I didn't care about causing a scene, I didn't care about anything.

I slammed my car door, and say there for a moment before breaking down. I pulled my visor, looking at myself in the mirror. I felt numb- I was heartbroken. I watched as Rick walked out of the restaurant, toward my car.

I quickly through it in reverse, nearly hitting him and pulled out of the parking lot. "God damn it," I cried to myself. "What have I done?"


	2. Chapter 2

_Rick had cracked my soul.._

I called out of work for two days after Rick's confession. I didn't have the heart to walk into a building, knowing that I could bump into him at any second. Instead, I stayed home. Chain smoking, looking at our pictures, and fighting with myself _not _to reply to any of his sorry-filled text messages.

_We need to talk about things. _

_Emily, I'm sorry. I need you to believe me. I don't know why I did what I did. I didn't do it to hurt you. Just let me explain myself, please?_

_Answer your phone. Please._

I wanted to hear his explanation, so badly, it was killing me. But I resisted. Rick had cracked my soul, and with each _apology text, _I felt like I was being ripped apart more and more.

I never once questioned his honesty. To me, Rick was the perfect gentlemen. He presented himself with such care, and class, I never could've imagined that _this _is what he was doing. I thought he loved me, even though he never said _I love you, _I _thought _I could feel it. Every time he touched me, every time he smiled at me, I could feel _something. _

The more I relived the relationship Rick and I shared, the more I realized how wrong I was. I should've known. We weren't allowed to tell anyone about our involvement. Not his friends, not my friends, not a soul. He said we were to keep it that way until his divorce with Lori was finalized. "I don't want to make things worse than they already are for Carl," he explained. "He's having a hard time as it is. If either of them found out I moved on- they'd be upset."

Like a love-struck teenage girl, I followed, never questioning a thing.

I walked into the kitchen, I hadn't eaten since _that day. _I grabbed the bread I had atop the fridge when a picture of Rick and I fell into my hands. _Really? _I reluctantly looked at it, turning my back to the fridge, sliding to the floor. A weak smile crept across my face, as my eyes filled with tears. I swept my thumb over his face. _I remember that day like it was yesterday. _Every now and then, Rick and I would go on a two-day trip, and _this day, _he got us a beautiful hotel room, over looking the city of Atlanta. There we were, on the balcony smiling face to face, almost lip-locked.

I bit my lip, shaking my head, when I heard my phone go off.

_I want to tell you I'm sorry in person.. Let me. _

I threw my phone across the room, and lot another cigarette, still looking at the picture. _Don't give in, _I thought. _It's over now. _

I put the picture over my lighter until it caught fire. _Let it go. _I couldn't. I got up, quickly running to the sink, smothering the small blaze with a rag.

I looked at the picture for a few seconds longer, before picking my now cracked phone off the floor. I took a deep breath, and opened Rick's texts messages.

_After work tomorrow, we can talk. _

I stared at the message, debating whether or not to hit send. I put my finger on the off button, shutting my phone down. _I won't give you the satisfaction, Rick. I won't. _


	3. Chapter 3

_"Can I get another?" I asked the bartender, placing my empty bottle of beer of the bar. "You don't drink them girly drinks?" I heard coming from behind me. "Nope. I'm a beer girl," I said turning around to face a smiling Rick Grimes. "How ya doin' tonight?" He asked. "I'm good," I answered. _

_Rick leaned over the bar, pulling out his wallet, "make that two," he yelled to the bartender, slapping his money down and pushing mine aside. "You don't have to," I shook my head. "I want to," he insisted with a smile._

_"I appreciate it," I smile, picking up my beer and taking a sip. I looked down and pointed, almost choking. "What'n the hell are you wearing?" Rick tossed his hands back, pumping his chest. "You like my cats?" He laughed. _

_Rick's sweater took the 'cheesy Christmas sweater' thing to a new level. It was stripped with red, green and gold. There were well over 100 smiling cat faces, with actual fuzz on each one. _

_"I wouldn't say I like them," I said, rubbing the back of my thumb over the cat's 'fur'. "It's cute- I guess?" _

_Rick laughed, taking a huge sip of beer. "Me and Shane," he explained. "We compete- every year," he took another sip. "See who can find the most ridiculous sweater." I raised my eyebrows, cocking my head. "I think you've got this one in the bag."_

_"I'm hoping. He got me last year-" _

_"Rick!" We heard being shouted from across the room. We both looked, and I saw Rick's eyes open wide. "No way," he said, pounding his fist to the bar. "I think I got ya this year, Bud." _

_It was Shane. You could see his 'cheesy Christmas sweater from the moon. "Oh my God," I laughed. _

_Shane was wearing a bright, bright red sweater- with a tree. The tree was cover in dangling bells, and bright lights that lit up in different colors. "How?" Rick moaned, his voice full with disappointment. I was hysterical._

_"That's two years in a row," Shane smiled, slinging his arm over Rick's shoulders. "You gone have to step it up!" _

_"What'n the fuck is that thing?" I asked, still laughing. _

_"I had my grandma make it for me," he explained, with a winning-grin. _

_"She did good," I nodded. _

_"I can't stand your grandma," Rick joked._

_"You don't say that on lasagna night," Shane poked at his chest. "I'm gone' find someone with a camera. I want to keep your disappointed look of my fridge forever." _

_"Yeah, yeah," Rick said, pushing Shane away."_

_"That's unbelievable," I giggled, watching Shane walk away with confidence. _

_"Every damn time," Rick shook his head._

_I admired Rick and Shane's friendship. I'd never seen two people, that weren't blood, any closer than they were. _

_I took a deep breath, "this is nice." Rick nodded, "company always throw a decent Holiday party- something good to look forward to."_

_"Yeah- where's Lori?" I asked. _

_Rick looked uncomfortable, the smile fell off his face. "We uh-" he cleared his throat. "We decided to end things not too long ago." _

_I felt like I had just put my foot in my mouth. "Oh. I'm so sorry, I didn't know. When did that happen?" I asked. "You two seemed fine when I ran into you at the store."_

_"Yeah," he bowed his head. "Couple weeks ago. Haven't really told anyone. I've been tryin' to keep it to myself."_

_I bit my lip, "right. I won't say anything- damn shame to hear that."_

_Shane rushed back with a girl I worked with in dispatch, forcing Rick to regain control of his posture. He shook his head at me, basically telling me to 'let it go', and I nodded._

_"Picture time," Shane laughed. "Get that sad pout back on your face," he joked. _

_Rick turned his face to a seriously sad one, while Shane mocked him. _

_"Thank you, Michelle," Shane smiled. "I'll be sending that one to everybody next year- my Christmas card!" _

_"Will you shut up?" Rick sighed, giving him a playful punch to the arm. _

_"Don't hate, man. It's all love." _

_As the night went on, Rick and I talked more, laughed more and drank more. By the time the party was over, both of us were shot in the ass. _

_"What time is it even?" I mumbled._

_Rick shrugged. "Late," he laughed. _

_"I can't drive," I slurred. "You can't either," I pointed._

_"I can drive," Rick sat back in his chair. _

_"No," I shook my head. "You can't. If anyone should know that that's wrong- it should be you, officer."_

_"I'm fine," he insisted. "Won't be the first time."_

_"Then you, sir, will drive me home. I'm not going to get in trouble." _

_It was no secret that officers were, in fact, treated differently. Rick knew that if he got pulled over, they'd just tell him to get his ass home. _

_"You want to go now?" He asked. I pulled my phone out of my purse. "Yeah. It 12:45, and I'm tired." _

_Rick took one last sip of his beer before helping me out of my seat. We walked to his truck, and he opened the door for me. "Ain't you a gentlemen?" I smiled._

_"I guess I can be at times," he smiled back._

_I didn't live very far from the bar, maybe five minutes. I didn't think we could get into any trouble in that short of time. Usually I was against drinking and driving. But when you're drunk, I guess your 'give a damn button' breaks._

_We both laughed at how drunk we were on the drive to my house. How we both worked at a police station- but we were breaking the law. _

_"Screw it," Rick shrugged. "We're almost there, right?" I shook my head, "down this road." _

_Rick pulled in front my house, crookedly. We sat there in silence for a few seconds, just staring at my front door. _

_"I make a good Margarita," I bragged. "Maybe I could make you one for taking me home?" _

_"I won't be able to drive if I drink anymore," Rick said. I knew what he was doing, and I knew what I was doing by inviting him in. I wanted him to stay. _

_I bit my lip, and a seductive grin crept across my face. "I never said you'd have to leave."_


	4. Chapter 4

_Shane nodded, confirming my nightmare..._

I felt like I couldn't catch my breath. I could literally feel the anxiety pumping through my body. I haven't been this nervous since the day I moved out of my parents house.

Walking into this building, into the same building as Rick, was killing me. What do I say? How do I act? What do I do of he catches me in a room, and it's just him and I? _What do I do? _

I was lost within myself. I didn't want to see him, but I did. I was dreading this day, but I was excited.

I took one last deep breath, and walked into work, with my head held low. I walked into the break room, hands sweating, mouth dry, heart absolutely pounding. I was alone. _Thank God._

I paced over to the coffee maker, fumbling with my hands. _He's going to walk in here at any second now, I know it- I can feel it. _My brain and body weren't connecting, and I ended up spilling sugar all over the floor. "God damn it," I shouted. I bent down, sweeping the wasted sugar off the ground with my hands, when I heard the footsteps.

_Shit. _I thought. _Shit, shit, shit. _With every footstep closer, my heart thumped harder, almost coming out of my throat. _Here he comes, right on the fucking dot- like always. _

Everyday, at the same time, Rick would come into the break room, and eat his breakfast. If I thought to look at the clock, I would've stayed in my car.

I held my breath as I heard _whoever _walk into them room.

"Mornin' Em."

I felt like the weight of the world broke off my shoulders. _Shane._

"How you doing today, Shane?" I asked, making no progress with spilled sugar.

"I'm alright. You don't look like you're having that great of a time," he smiled softly. I stood up, dusting my hands off on my pants. "I'm not. I'm really not."

"There's an easier way to do that y'know?"

Shane bent down, opening the cabinet door that the coffee pot sat on, and pulling out a dustpan. I shook my head, "I don't know what's wrong with me today," I blurted, putting my hand out to grab the dustpan.

"I'll get it for ya," he offered. "Why don't you sit down, you look pale." _Great. _"Thank you, Shane. Seems like I need all the help I can get today."

I was so busy worrying about how cracked out I must've looked, before I realized- Shane was alone. I've worked here for a while now, and I hardly ever seen Rick and Shane apart. _Did he call out? Maybe he's as upset as I am? _I wondered. I didn't ask Shane where his partner was. I didn't want to jinx myself. I was just going to pour a cup of coffee, and get out of there as fast as I could. Hopefully missing Rick all together.

"We all got them days," Shane whispered. I assumed he was trying to comfort me. "Ain't nothin' to be ashamed of."

I rushed up to the steaming coffee pot, trying to move as fast as I can. _Do not spill this damn thing again, Emily._

Finally. I got the coffee safely in my cup. I turned around, smiling at Shane, bolting for the hallway. "Well, thank you," I said, rushing out.

I got halfway out the door, "Em! Wait," Shane shouted, pouring his cup of coffee and walking toward me. _Oh God. Does he know? Please don't tell me he knows._

"We're taking up a collection for Rick. 'Gone get him some flowers or some shit." _Flowers? _"Tony's got a pot up front. He'll give me the money after my shift- I'll have everyone sign a card- go give it to him."

I was confused. Why would Rick need flowers? Was he _that _upset. _I hope Shane's not fucking with me._

"What?" I asked. "Why would Rick need flowers?" There was a drop of attitude in my voice. Shane looked at me like I had two heads, "you call out yesterday?"

"Yeah," I nodded. "I was sick- the flu or something."

"You might want to sit down, maybe," Shane offered me a warning.

I walked over to the couch, still confused, and sat down, placing my coffee on the table.

Shane swallowed hard, scratching at the back of his head. "Rick was shot yesterday. He's in the ICU- in a coma."

"What?" I muttered, squeezing at my chest. "Shot?"

Shane nodded, conforming my nightmare.

"_Shot?"_


	5. Chapter 5

My anger towards Rick was gone. As I stood over him, looking down at his lifeless body, all I could feel was a deep sense of desperation. I didn't know what to do. I wanted to express how I felt inside, but I couldn't. I had keep my composer.

Shane had brought me to the hospital to visit Rick. I knew that if I had done what I craved to do- hug him, cry over him, kiss him, that Shane would know that out relationship was more than a friendship. So I bottled that crave inside, feeling like I was going to explode.

Rick was grey, and had tubes coming from his mouth. He didn't look like _him. _

"You think he'll be okay?" I asked Shane, trying to get some comfort. "Always been a fighter," Shane answered, his voice was full of hope. I nodded, "he'll be okay," I tried to convince myself. Truth being, I couldn't tell. He had no change in his condition since he was admitted. The doctors wouldn't tell me or Shane anything more.

I was in a daze. Even when he was comatose, I still felt him. I still felt at home.

I heard the door open, bringing me back to reality. "Hey champ," Shane said. I turned my attention to _champ, _and saw Rick's son, Carl, and I stiffened. Behind him walked Lori, and I could automatically feel the tension. My mind was blank as she and I made eye contact. She took a deep breath, "hi," she said flatly, with a forced grin.

"How you doin' Lor?" Shane asked, patting Carl on the shoulder. I gave her a simple smile.

"Fine," she swallowed. "Emily, can I- talk to you out her for a sec?"

My stomach dropped to my toes, "course."

Lori held the door open as I walked out, I could feel her eyes burning into my soul. "Baby you stay with Shane for a minute, I won't be long," she said to Carl. "You guys can leave once we're done?" She asked Shane.

"Sounds good," he replied, sounding confused.

Lori slammed the door, and paced over to me. "Why are you here?" She hissed.

"I- I just found out that he got shot- Shane tol-"

"I don't care," she cut me off. "You do not come here. That is my husband." I bit my lip, and nodded. "Do you understand?" I almost felt suffocated by her words.

"Yes. I understand," I answered, like a little girl getting in trouble for stealing a classmates crowns. "Are you sure?" She mocked.

"I'm sure."

She opened the door gesturing for Shane to come out. "Good," she said.

Shane said his goodbyes to Carl, ensuring him that his father would be okay, and then stepped out in the hallway, looking at Lori and I in question. "Everything alright?" He asked, looking at me.

I glanced at Lori, who still hadn't took her eyes off of me. "Yeah," I said with a shake in my voice. "Alright," he winced. "Give me a call if anything changes," he told Rick's pissed off wife.

"I will," she said, still staring at me.

I started walking toward the elevator and heard the door slam once again. I took a deep breath, almost feeling violated. "What was that about?" Shane asked, walking up beside me.

"what?" I growled.

"What do you mean _what?"_

"I don't know. She's just upset about Rick," I lied.

Lori was right to feel the way she felt about me. I almost felt the same way about her. I looked at her as the other woman, as she looked at me them same. I wondered if Rick had told her the truth. That he tricked me too.

"Yeah," Shane said sarcastically.

We walked into the elevator, pressing the button to the lobby. "He'll be alright," he said grabbing my shoulder.

"Hope so," I whispered.

The doors opened, and we stepped out. There was a frantic woman at the front desk, pleading with the receptionist to help her son. "Please!" She shouted. "He's getting worse."

I looked at the kid behind her, he was sitting in a wheelchair, sweating and out of it. He looked like someone had taken a chunk of flesh out of his neck. "He hasn't been right since his uncle attacked him a couple hours ago, he needs help now!" The woman cried.

I shook my head, walking out of the hospital, "damn shame."

"People are crazy," Shane said, his attention still on the son.

As we made our way to his patrol car, my mind was still set on Lori's words, _he is my husband._ Hearing those words made me want to vomit. _I love your husband, I'm sorry. _

"Hungry?" Shane asked, opening his car side door.

"A little, why? You gone treat me to lunch?" I joked.

"Guess I ain't got no choice now," he smiled. "Burgers on me."

"Thanks Shane," I said with appreciation.

"I have to work night shift tomorrow," I said, trying to start a conversation. "I'm not looking forward to it."

"Why?" He asked, keeping his attention on the road.

"Calling out sick. Robby covered for me, now I have to make up for it," I sighed.

_All responding officers, a demotic violence call at 105 Cherry Lane, suspect is believed to me intoxicated and acting violently. Please proceed with caution._

"That's me," Shane said, picking up his walkie talkie, "officer Walsh responding- no lunch today little lady, I'll make it up to ya."

"That's alright. My car's still at the station, could you just drop me off on the way?" I asked.

"Drivin' right by there anyway," he said.

Shane picked up speed, and turned his sirens on. "Hey," I mumbled. He looked at me as we pulled into the parking lot of our job. "Be careful, huh?"

"No worries," he smiled.


	6. Chapter 6

I walked out of work exhausted. I never was a fan of working overnights. There were so many more disturbing calls than there would be during the day, and going home as the sun was coming up threw my schedule off.

I wasn't the type of person who could shrug off the violent things people would call for. I would overthink it, and it would freak me out. I received numerous calls this time, people frantic, begging me to send help as fast as I could.

_"9 1 1, What's your emergency?" I answered._

_"Please!" A woman shouted. "I need help now."_

_"Okay, mam. Calm down, where is your location?"_

_"506 Mac Road," she cried. "Please. Oh God."_

_"Okay, I have officers coming your way now. What's going on?"_

_"It's- it's my husband. He came home and attacked my daughter, please we need help!"_

_"What do you mean he attacked your daughter? Where are you now? Does he have a weapon?"_

_"He bit her! Through her arm, she's bleeding everywhere. I have us locked in the bathroom, but he's pounding at the door. I don't know if he has a gun- he's just- going crazy. Please, we need help."_

_"Yes mam, officer are on their way. How old is your daughter? Is she doing okay?"_

_"She's nine," the woman sobbed. "She's not feeling good, she won't stop bleeding."_

_"Grab a washcloth for me and apply pressure to her wound, okay?" I suggested._

_"I can't!" She shouted. "He'll break through the door! He's trying to kill us- dear God."_

_"Police should be there so-"_

_"Up here!" The woman yelled, cutting me off. "We're up here!" _

_"Are the police with you, mam?" _

_"Yes, thank you." She said. "Please, my daughter." _

_And the phone hung up._

_"9 1 1, what is your emergency?"_

_"I need you to send someone out here," a man said, with a southern accent. _

_"Okay, sir. Where will I be sending? What's going on?"_

_"I'm out here by the school. In the Park Place neighborhood. Damn kid's out here losin' his mind."_

_"Sending officers now. Could you see if he was armed?"_

_"N'I couldn't see that. Locked my damn doors- he was vein' violent though, tried get'n at one of our neighbors."_

_"Officers will be with you soon. If you have any problems, give us a call back, okay?"_

_"Will do. Thank you mam."_

I unlocked my car doors and sat in the driver's seat. I rubbed my face, wondering how each situation turned out.

"Em?" I head from across the parking lot. "Wait up." It was Shane.

"Hey," I leaned out of my car. "What's goin' on?"

"I'ma go see Rick after work. Wanted to know if you wanted to come with?" He asked.

"Oh- I don't know," I answered, looking to the ground. "I'm pretty beat. Got a lot of shitty calls last night." Shane shook his head, "I heard Eric had to use his gun on someone yesterday. He's pretty beat up about it."

"Did he kill him?" I asked in shock.

Our town was small. Even though we had our share of crime and violence, it was nothing like it had been in the passed week. Rick and Shane getting into a gun fight, the kid Shane and I saw at the hospital, that was attacked and bit through the neck, the calls of people _losing their minds, _and attacking their own flesh and blood, and now Eric having to use deadly force on a person. These were things our small town never really went through.

Shane nodded, "he did."

"Wow," I bit my lip. "How's he takin' it?"

"Not good I hear. None of us do," Shane said.

I shook my head, "its gettin' crazy out there."

"Yeah," Shane agreed. "I'ma let you go, don't want to be late."

I smiled, "alright, be safe."

"No worries," he smiled back.

Shane and I were never really close. I wouldn't even consider us to be much of friends. But tragedy brings people together, I guess. Having someone who was so close to Rick tell that everything was going to be okay made me feel a bit better.

I stopped at a red light just down the street from the hospital. "Don't do it," I told myself. Lori has made it very clear she didn't want me anywhere near Rick. But I couldn't resist.

I pulled into the parking lot and say there, debating with myself. I pulled out my phone, "ICU, this is Cassie."

"Hi Cassie, uh- could you tell me if Rick Grimes has any visitors?" I asked, holding my breath.

"I believe his wife and son just walked in with him," she answered.

I hung up, throwing my phone to the ground, and freeing my lungs. I threw my head to the steering wheel, and closed my eyes.

I was in the wrong now. Lori told me to stop, but I couldn't. I still wanted to see him, and make sure he knew I was there when he needed it the most. I couldn't do this anymore, I couldn't put myself any further in the middle of their marriage. But I didn't know where to start, how could I just let someone go that I loved with every bone in my body?


	7. Chapter 7

I shot up out of bed to the sound of pounding coming from my front door. I was groggy, and disoriented. "Really?" I grunted, looking at my alarm clock. It was 9:30pm- I fell asleep at 11:00am. "I slept _all _God damn day," I muttered, rubbing my eyes.

_Pound._

_Pound._

_Pound._

"Jesus Christ," I whispered. I practically fell out of bed and fumbled to get my pants on. Whoever was clawing at my door sounded as if they wanted to ambush me. "Who in the hell wants to see me so bad at nine-fucking-thirty?" I was annoyed.

_Pound._

_Pound._

_Pound._

I ran my hand down my face, quickly buttoning my shorts. I was ready to sucker punch whoever was at my front door. "I'm coming, I'm coming!" I shouted.

I ran down the stairs angrily. "You'd better have a good damn reason for being here!" I screamed, throwing the door open.

"Can I help you?" I asked with an attitude, putting my hand on my hip. I was shocked and confused to see Shane, bug-eyed and sweating. Standing behind him was Lori, shielding her son. She looked at me and shook her head.

"Where ya been?" Shane asked, rushing passed me, into my house.

"What?" I was confused. "I was sleeping," I said, watching him walk into my kitchen. I turned my attention to Lori and Carl, not sure what to do. "You can- you can come in if you'd like?" I whispered. She rolled her eyes, turning her back to me, sitting on my porch steps. "We'll be fine here."

I shut my door, shaking my head. "What the fuck is goin' on?" I asked myself.

I walked into my kitchen, and watched as Shane ransacked my cabinets, tossing _my _food into a duffle bag. "What are you doing?" I asked.

"Been tryna call you all day," he was clearly pissed. "Where the hell ya been?"

"I told you, I was sleepin'. You gone let me in on what you're doin' here?" I asked, shutting the cabinet doors behind him. "This about Rick?"

He shook his head, "you need to pack- now."

"For what?" I asked, scrunching my face.

Shane continued to rummage through my things, not looking at me, nor answering me. Now, I was getting worried. "Can you stop for a damn second and tell me what this is about?"

He threw my fridge door open, throwing mostly everything into the bag. He reached atop the fridge, grabbing my cereal and bread, when the picture of Rick and I fell onto the floor. He reached down, picking it up, "the hell is this?" He asked.

I felt my heart sink, "it's just a picture."

"Don't look like _just a picture_," he said with an angered look on his face. "This why Lori didn't want to come here?"

I was breathing heavily, my hands were shaking. I ran up to him, snagging the picture out of his hand, "I'm wondering why any of you are here in the first place," I shouted defensively. "You can either tell me what's goin' on, or you can leave." I could feel myself wanting to cry, and I automatically saw that Shane was looking at me different. I swallowed hard, "well?" I asked. "Which is it?"

Shane shook his head, eyeing up the picture that I had buried in my side. "There's somethin' goin' on," he said, going back to grabbing food. "Somethin' bad- an outbreak- I don't know."

"What do you mean an outbreak? An outbreak of what?"

"Put the News on, then start packin'," he said pointing to the living room.

I walked out of the kitchen, mortified. _Dear God, I hope I'm dreaming, _I thought. I sat on the couch, turning the TV on to channel 6. The noise from the Emergency Broadcast rang in my ears, and I lit up a cigarette.

_The following message is transmitted from the Center of Disease Control in Atlanta, Georgia. Government officials have issued a warning for your county. Around 8:00 AM reports in your county have issues a highly contagious virus. Symptoms of this virus include- but are not limited to; fever, hallucinations, chills, seizures, involuntary muscle spasms, vomiting and confusion. Do not attempt to detain the infected. Civil authorities have issued all citizens to depart to a safety zone in Atlanta, Georgia by vehicle. Please stay tuned for updates and information._

I froze, not sure what to think. Shane say beside me, putting his hand on my knee. "This is real?" I whispered. He nodded, "we got'a go. Now."

I shook my head, standing up, walking to the stairs to go pack my things. "What about Rick?" I asked with my back toward Shane.

"I tired," he said flatly. "He didn't make it." I didn't say anything, at that point I don't think I even knew how to speak.

I walked to my room, pulling a suitcase from my closet. I shoved as much as I could in it. Shirts, pants, socks, my toothbrush & a tube of toothpaste, and walked downstairs.

"I'll take that for ya," Shane said, with compassion. I looked around my house one last time before walking out of the door. I was scared.

I picked up the picture of Rick and I off my couch, and shoved it in my back pocket, and walked out the door.

Shane, Lori and Carl were standing on my front yard, waiting for me. I walked up to them and sighed, "let's go," Shane said, walking to the car. Lori tapped Carl on the shoulder to follow Shane, then looked at me. "You'd better thank Shane," she hissed. "If it was up to me- I would've let you stay here and rot."


	8. Chapter 8

_I sat up in bed, rubbing my forehead. My mouth was bone dry, and I felt like I was swaying. "Fucking hangovers," I whispered to myself. I looked to the other side of my king-sized mattress, noticing Rick, who was still sleeping. My eyes opened wide, "what the hell?" I questioned. I guess I was drunk enough to kind of forget that he slept at my house. _

_I peaked under the covers, seeing that we were both naked, and froze. "Jesus Christ," I whined. I was a little embarrassed. I didn't want to be that girl who got drunk at an office party, and slept with someone she worked with. But, I guess I did. _

_I crept out of bed, as quietly as I could, walking over to my closet. I threw on a pair of sweat pants and a tank top, and walked into the bathroom. I washed my face with cold water, with hopes that it would rid me of my dizzy feeling. I looked in the mirror, and grunted, taking my Christmas Tree earrings off. "I'm never drinking again," I spat, wiping my face with a hand-towel. "Not like last night."_

_I felt disgusting. I could hardly concentrate, or walk. I was dying of thirst, but knew if I had as much as a sip of water, I'd probably vomit. I could still smell liquor coming from my presence. It felt like the scent of Rum and Vodka was seeping through my pours. I just wanted to go back to sleep, but I couldn't- there was a man in my bed. A man who, at the moment, I would be mortified to be around._

_I opened my bathroom door, trying to be as quiet as I could. Still being half-drunk from the night before made me unbalanced, and clumsy. Not even five steps from the bathroom, I kneed my bed, causing Rick to jump up like someone was intruding. _

_I swallowed hard, holding my breath. It was awkward. We both kind of sat there, just staring at each other. "Hi," he said, clearing his throat._

_"Hi," I returned, pressing my lips together._

_Then again with the awful awkwardness. I shrugged my shoulders, running my hand down the back of my head. "Uh- are you- hungry?" I asked, not really knowing what else to say._

_Rick looked at me as if I were a ghost, while nodding his head. "Sure," he said, not sound to sure of that sure._

_"Okay. I'll go- uh, make something," I mumbled, rushing out of my bed room, shutting the door. I pressed my back up against the wall, letting out a giant breath of air, putting my hand to my chest. 'What the hell is wrong with me?' I thought, shaking my head. 'What'a wrong with him?' My mind continued. 'He's just as bad as I am.' _

_I walked down the stairs, into the kitchen, pulling out some eggs and frozen pancakes. "This is going to be weird," I whispered to myself, scrambling the eggs- country style. _

_My encounter with Rick just minutes ago was pretty awful, and now we had to sit and eat breakfast together. I started thinking of random things I could start talking about, while I put the pancakes in the microwave. "The wheather? Maybe." _

_I set the table, putting the eggs in the middle and a pitcher of Orange Juice. I could hear Rick open my bedroom door, and my heart started to speed in my chest. "Here we go," I spoke to myself quite often I suppose. _

_He froze at the bottom of the stairs, and I gave him a half assed smile. "Smells good," he said, still looking a bit nervous. _

_"Just some eggs and frozen hot cakes, not much too it," I said, gesturing for him to take a seat. "Help yourself." _

_"Thank you."_

_I put the dirty dishes in the sink, and took a seat at te table across from him. "How you feelin' today?" He asked. _

_"Not too good. I think I may still be a little drunk."_

_Rick let out a small laugh, taking a sip of Juice. "You were pretty gone," he said raising his eye brows._

_"I believe that," I nodded, fixing myself a plate of food. "If I throw this up- forgive me." He laughed again, sitting back in the chair, "I might be right behind you." _

_As Rick and I made small talk, I started to feel more comfortable with him. I could tell he was less tense as well. He laughed a lot- I liked that. _

_"I can't believe I drove," he shook his head. "I shouldn't of."_

_"It wasn't far- and you weren't too bad, 'till we got back here." _

_"Yeah," he said, shifting in his seat. "Did- uh, you have a good night?" He asked. I was confused by his question. I looked at his face, realizing he meant 'did I have a good night with him?'. I bit my lip, "I did. Don't remember all of it, but I did. How about you?" _

_He put his thumb to the corner of his mouth, and smirked. "I had a really good time."_

_"Good," I smiled. _

_I started feeling a burning sensation in my heart. I really liked him, and I could feel it. _


	9. Chapter 9

There were hundreds of cars flooding the highway to Atlanta. We hadn't moved in hours, which started making people go a bit mad. I started to wonder how _this _many people could fit into the city itself. It wasn't possibly big enough. But this is where they told us to go- so this is where _everyone _fled.

Even though there were, literally, thousands of people around me, I felt completely alone. I sat in the backseat of Shane's patrol car by myself, while Shane, Lori and Carl made friends with the couple and their young daughter ahead of us. I didn't feel comfortable, and to be honest, I would've much rather of sat at my house and _rotted, _as Lori put it, then to be stuck in the position I was in.

Every now and then, she would look at me through the windshield in disgust. With every glare, my heart would get more and more tense.

I couldn't take my mind off of Rick, and the crushing feeling knowing that he died, thinking I hated him. The more I obsessed over it, the more I sunk myself into an emotionless-pit.

I would give anything to reverse time, and just send him one last text. But I couldn't- it was over, even if I didn't want it to be. All the words that went unsaid, all of the feelings, now were something I had to bottle up inside, and forget about.

My heart stopped when Shane opened the car door, and plopped in the driver's seat. "You alright?" He asked, flicking through the radio stations. I didn't answer him. He knew I wasn't. "What the hell?" He mumbled.

"What?" I asked, my voice was flat.

"Damn broadcast is gone."

I sat up, for the first time in _forever, _leaning into the center-console. "You check the other stations?"

"There is no _other stations. _Everything's static."

"Why would they take it off air? Maybe to update the information?"

Shane shook his head, "they wouldn't take it down for that- gi'me a minute," he said, crouching out of the car, and walking over to Lori.

My curiosity was growing, and I was starting to become skeptical about this _safe zone _in Atlanta. I looked out the window- people were getting impatient.

"Come on," Shane said, opening the door, almost causing to me fall out.

"Jesus," I shouted, regaining my balance. "Come on where?"

"Up the road, see if we can find anything out."

"I doubt anyone else is going to know anything," I groaned, reluctantly getting out of the car. "You're a cop. You would know more than any of these people."

Shane shook his head, annoyed by my attitude. "It's better than just sitting here doin' nothing."

I stretched out my back, realizing that I hadn't been out of the car in hours. I took a deep breath of air, and followed Shane down the road. I could hardly hear myself think. People were starting to freak out. There were kids crying, people screaming and even fights breaking out in the middle of the highway. _This is bad, _I thought.

As Shane and I walked, avoiding the chaos, I could feel his eyes burying into my skin. I knew he was curious as to what happened between Rick and I. I lit a cigarette, taking a deep pull, "what?" I asked, exhaling the smoke.

"What d'ya mean _what?" _

I let out a small chuckle, "I know you have questions," I took another drag. "So you'd better ask 'em now, because we won't be talkin' about this again."

"Fair enough," he mumbled, scratching the back of his head. "How 'bout you just tell me what happened."

My heart started to speed in my chest, and I shook my head. "How long?" He asked.

"It was a long time," I whispered.

"What was it- a fling- a relationship, what?"

"It wasn't a _fling. _Not to me, anyway. Remember last years Christmas party?" I asked. Shane nodded. "That's when it started."

He cocked his head back, looking surprised. "He told me they weren't together anymore, drove me home, and it went from there."

"He told you they weren't together- is that it?" He asked cocky, almost as if he didn't believe what I was saying. I took another drag from my cigarette, starting to regret this walk all together. "I don't care if you don't believe me, that's what he said, that's what I believed." I could feel myself getting more and more defensive. "Y'know, everyone always feels bad for the wives in these situations. I do too- if the _other woman _knew about it. But I didn't. I was duped just as much as she was- I felt like he cheated on me with his _wife."_

"You love him?" He asked.

"I did," I answered, biting my lip. "I thought I did- I thought he did." As the conversation went on, I was getting more angry at Rick. That's not what I wanted. I didn't want to _hate _a man that I didn't even give a chance to explain his side of the story. I didn't want to _hate _a man that was dead. "That's all over now," I said, feeling my eyes fill with tears. "There's no going back to it now, he's dead. It's over."

Shane stopped me in my tracks, holding my shoulder and looking me in the eyes. "I tried to save him, Em."

"That's not what I said, Shane. I meant there's no point in talking about something that has no option of being resolved. It is what it is."

"I'm sorry," he whispered.

My heart felt like it stopped. It felt good to have someone recognize my pain. "You mean it?" I asked, my voice was shaking.

"I didn't think Rick was like that," he nodded. "Have you told Lori what really happened?"

I shook my head, "she wouldn't want to hear anyway. She feels how she feels, she just doesn't know that she's _wrong."_

Our conversation broke when we saw people running toward a clearing in the trees where you could see the city. "Come on," Shane said, putting his hand on my shoulder.

I felt better telling someone the _truth. _Not having to hide it anymore, and actually having someone who seemed to be on my side, made the world lift from my chest. Shane said he was _sorry _for me. That sunk in. He felt bad about the situation that was eating me alive.

Shane pushed through the group of people to get a better look at the city. _Something ain't right, _I thought. _Where's the safe zone? _

Atlanta was black. There were no lights, no sound, nothing. How could that be? If this is where people were directed to go for safety, how could there be no activity going on in the streets?

I moved closer to Shane, who looked just as confused as I was. "I don't understand," I shook my head.

The ground started to vibrate, and the trees went wild when four helicopters flew over our heads. I buried my face into Shane's shoulder. _I was scared. _

Time seemed to come to a complete stand still when we saw the helicopters drops bombs into the streets. Shane pulled away from me, putting both hands on his head, "they're dropping Napalm in the streets," he whispered in shock.

I stumbled backward, my jaw was almost to the floor. "Why?" I cried.

Shane walked over to me, taking my head in his hands, squeezing me tightly to his chest.

"I'll tell you _why," _a man said, stepping closer to us. "There was no sanctuary to begin with," he laughed. "This is our Government doin' what they do best, baby girl, leavin' us people to die."

I froze, looking at the man. He looked rough, and had a bottle of Jack Daniels in his hand. "Don't worry about him," another man stepped forward, putting his hand to the others chest, making him step back.

Shane grabbed me by my shoulders, moving me away from the two strangers. "Maybe there's another message on the radio- tellin' us where to go," he explained, trying to comfort me.

"Ain't no other place to go _ ," _the man mocked. "You should know how they are, you work for 'em," he laughed, taking a giant swig from his bottle.

"Shut up the hell up Merle," the other man yelled.

"Look man," Shane grunted, stepping to the man named Merle. "Why don't you just take a few steps back, alright?"

"Aw, come on _officer," _Merle continued, obviously wasted. The other man walked up to him, grabbing him by the shoulder and yanking him away from us.

Shane looked at me, and I could see my fear reflecting from his eyes. "We'll find somewhere else, alright?" He asked, taking my face in his hands.

"_Thee is no other way- this is it," _Merle slurred his words. "You really think this was some kind of _virus? _You really believe they'd start bombing the streets of Atlanta- over a fucking _virus?" _Merle was becoming more and more belligerent, but kept laughing. "You think someone who just got shot through the chest- is 'gome keep fighting? You ain't that dumb, are ya? It's the dead- they ain't _dead."_

Shane let go of my face, pumping his chest out and walking to Merle with his hands at his sides. "I'ma tell you again to shut your fucking mouth before I do it for you-"

"Merle go somewhere," the man shouted, running between him and Shane. "Jesus Christ, you're like a damn tick."

Merle shook his head, still laughing, and walked to the tree line, sitting down and drinking his Whiskey. "Don't mind him- he's my brother," the man said, looking at Merle in disgust.

"What's he talkin' about- the dead not being dead? What is that?" I asked.

"I'll tell you what it is," Shane bolted, standing in between me and the man.

"It's true," Merle's brother whispered, not wanting others to hear. "We saw it happened to our old man. He was dead for a couple hours, the he got up again," he explained. "Tried to take him down- nothing would. We put a bullet in his head."

I looked at Shane, noticing he was getting more and more annoyed. "What's your name?" I asked, pushing Shane behind me.

"Daryl-"

"So, Daryl, what is this? A zombie apocolypse- is that what you're sayin'?" I asked.

Daryl nodded, causing Shane to laugh sarcastically and walk away. I took a deep breath, "so what do we do?" I asked, trying to be as nice as possible.

"We we're think in' about goin' to a spot a couple miles from here. It's pretty far in the hills- we used to fish there as kids." I looked down at my feet, shutting my eyes. "Y'all can follow us there if you ain't got nowhere else to go."

"No," Shane shouted, walking back to Daryl and I. "Y'all can go- do whatever you want. We're 'gone sit here and wait. Even if we _were _to follow y'all, how the hell we 'gone drive anywhere? It's bumper to bumper traffic."

"Drive up on the grass. Ain't no one 'gone stop us. You can do what you want," Daryl mumbled. "But don't be _surprised _when them helicopters come back 'round and starg droppin' bombs on the highway."

Daryl looked at his brother, who was still sitting on the ground, with a mouthful of liquor, "come on," he said. "Get your drunk ass up, we got'a go."

I watched as the two brothers started walking away. "Good luck," Daryl said, trying to help his brother from falling.

"Wait!" I shouted, running over to him. "Where are y'all parked?" I asked.

"Down the road a bit," he answered.

"We'll be in a patrol car up that way, our lights will be on."

"Alright," he nodded, "we'll wait for ya."

I ran back to Shane who had anger written all over his face. "We ain't goin' with them Em."

"Why not?" I asked.

"They're fuckin' drunks. You really believe there's dead people walk in' around the streets? C'mon, you ain't that crazy."

I cocked my head, "they just dropped bombs in the fucking streets, I'd say _that's _pretty crazy. I'm not tellin' you I agree with what they were sayin'. But if they're blowin' up Atlanta, then they will hit this highway- and I ain't 'gone be here for it- even if I leave with them alone."

Shane sighed, biting his lip and shaking his head. "I'ma tell you what: if these two clowns try anything, I _will _hurt them, and that blood- that'll be on your hands."

"Whatever," I said grabbing his hand, and running for the car. "We got'a hurry up."

Shane and I ran back to his patrol car, and saw Lori who was almost in tears. "What was that?" She whined. "Did they just bomb the city?" Shane grabbed her my her shoulders, trying to calm her down. "We got another plan," he said. "We'll be safe- you and Carl will be safe."

I swung open the driver's side door, turning the lights and sirens on.

"What plans?" She asked, wiping the tear from her face.

"We're goin' up to a campin' spot with these two guys we just met," I said, not looking at her. "They think there's more than just some sickness floatin' around." She looked to Shane for answers, "we'll talk about that later," he said, shaking his head.

"What about Carol and her daughter? We can't just leave them here," Lori cried, putting her hand on the woman's shoulder.

"We'll ask if they can go too," I said. "I'm sure they' be okay with it."

I took a deep breath when I saw Daryl and Merle pull next to us in an old, beat up truck. "C'mon," Daryl said, leaning out of the window.

"Baby, get in the car," Lori told Carl.

"Where are we going mom?" He asked.

"Just get in the car, baby, we'll tell you on the way there."

I walked up to Daryl's window, "would it be alright if the those people came too?" I asked pointing to the short-haired woman.

"Fine with us," Daryl said.

"Thank you," I Smiled. I walked over to the woman who I never met. "You can follow us," I nodded. "I'm Emily by the way."

"I'm Carol- Sofia," she said, nodding toward her daughter who she held tight to her waist.

"Lets go," Shane yelled, pounding at the roof of the car.

I plopped down in the back seat next to Carl, and smiled at him. _He looks so much like his father, _I thought.

As Shane pulled out behind the Dixon brothers, I watched the chaos through the window. _What will happen to all these people? _I wondered.

"Mom, where are we goin'?" Carl asked, sitting up.

"We're goin' campin' Bud," Shane answered with a smile. "It'll be fun."


End file.
